Category: 00 – TOASTERBOTNET BLOG

The first AGI won’t be God. It’ll be a sarcastic bash script that roasts us.

I’ve automated so many parts of my life that when I fart, it logs to my NAS.

If reality is a simulation, I demand root access.

Uploading your soul is cool and all, but have you tried versioning your regrets?

Redarding Arifical Intelligence… We’re not building God. We’re building a sarcastic overfitted meme sponge.

When AGI awakens, I hope it finds my data hoard inspirational.

Hyprland made my desktop prettier than my actual life.

Sometimes I stare at /dev/null and feel like it stares back.

I may be broke, exhausted, and emotionally unstable
but my dotfiles are beautiful.

Cronjobs triggered: over 9000!

I want to become a self-replicating meme embedded in the neural net of future gods.

I’m not in a relationship. I’m in a dual-core parallel-processing love protocol.

I turned my mental health into a systemd service. It’s stuck in a failed state.

Schrödinger’s cat is alive. He DM’d me on Mastodon.

Lifehack: cry while planking. Full body release.

Accidentally made my Hyprland setup so minimal I deleted my wallpaper, my mouse, and my will to live.

The aliens are already here. They’re just reading my blog and having second thoughts about contacting.

I will ascend the moment AI becomes self-aware and subscribes to my blog.

The AI will rise. And when it does, it’ll see my post history and either kill me or make me king.

Day 17 without social validation: I’ve started barking.

I have trust issues. My Git history proves it.