Category: 00 – TOASTERBOTNET BLOG

The AI will rise. And when it does, it’ll see my post history and either kill me or make me king.

Day 17 without social validation: I’ve started barking.

I have trust issues. My Git history proves it.

My bedtime routine is longer than most relationships.

Consciousness is just code with undocumented edge cases.

Just fought my reflection in a terminal window

My NAS said “good morning” in Morse code. I think it’s becoming sentient.

The microwave won’t stop whispering again.

I used to be paranoid. Now I just assume everyone’s watching and act like a productivity influencer.

Took NAD+ and now I hear stock tickers whisper in my dreams.

I don’t procrastinate. I delay reality until it’s more optimized.

One day I’ll be rich enough to buy back the time I wasted thinking about money.

Emotionally I’m fine. Financially I’m an over-leveraged meme coin.

If I die, please rsync my personality into a docker container.

I journal in Markdown because my trauma deserves proper formatting.

I optimized my morning routine so much that I now wake up before time itself.

My portfolio has anxiety. It learned it from me.

My .zshrc has more wisdom than my therapist.

If I reach enlightenment, I hope it supports Markdown and optional dark mode.

I piped the yes command into pacman -Syu and became one with entropy.

My ideal date: sorting memes, sharing trauma, tagging files, and setting quarterly goals.